This was incredibly violent, cheesy, disturbing and downright cool. Robert Rodriguez set out to turn the fake Grindhouse trailer into the epitome of a B movie. And he succeeded.Machete (Danny Trejo) is a former Mexican Federale, and was the only uncorruptable one on the force. His final confrontation with drug lord Torrez (Steven Seagal) on the Mexican side of the border leads to Machete's wife's gruesome death. Three years later, Machete is a day-laborer and is recruited to assassinate Texan Senator and staunch advocate for harsh immigration reform, John McLaughlin (Robert DeNiro). When that goes awry, Machete is on the run. Not only is he running from McLaughlin's people, but he's running from an I.C.E. agent (Jessica Alba), the cops, the man who set him up on the assassination attempt and Torrez. To say Machete has a well thought out plan is so far off base. His only plan is to kill as many people as possible to make sure that his name is cleared and he can finally have closure on his wife's murder. Oh, and Machete don't text.
This was so over-the-top that you can't help but love it. Purposely poorly written and outlandish acting helped make this one of the more fun movies of the year. It's EXTREMELY violent and sexual so be prepared for that. Hell, he uses a guy's intestines as a bungie cord while the intestines' owner is still connected to them. This movie marks the first appearance of Steven Seagal as a full out bad guy, and there was no better choice. Everyone played their part well and with the right amount of cheese. And yes, even Lindsay Lohan was good in her role. Enjoy this movie but prepare for gore. Grade: B+
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